In my blog “The 6 Characteristics of the adaptable leader”,
I note that the 4th characteristic is that “They (adaptable leaders)
deal with conflict and disagreement productively.”
Conflict cost money, it is drain on the business' resources. It generates both direct and hidden costs:
·
Direct costs of conflict include absenteeism,
lost productivity, and staff turnover
·
Hidden costs of conflict include spending time
on people problems, which diverts time and energy away running the
business. It has been estimated that 20%
of managers’ time can be taken up handling conflicts or differences.
When workplace conflict becomes a problem:
Workplace conflict becomes a problem when significant
working relationships breakdown or become dysfunctional as a result of differences. When this happens, we are faced with 2 choices:
1.
Transform the conflict, and find a creative
resolution, or
2.
Adopt a primitive response, allowing the conflict
to remain, intensify, or be ignored.
Very often we choose the second approach.
3 Primitive Approaches
to Conflict
At a primitive level, we are hardwired to respond to threats,
real or imagined, in one of 3 ways:
·
Flight
·
Fight or
·
Freeze
Common responses to
workplace conflict:
Flight:
Avoiding conflict by removing ourselves from the situation,
e.g. not answering calls or refusing to meet. Sometimes we may deny that a
conflict exists, deferring to the other person, or obeying some-one in
authority, even if we disagree. This can
produce "losers" on both sides.
The refusal to acknowledge the differences, or address the issues,
usually results in nobody being satisfied with the outcome.
Fight:
Dealing with conflict aggressively, often blaming, attacking,
and confronting others. This may create a "winner". However, “winning” is at the expense of other
people, and relationships, as the "victor’s" needs are met regardless
of the impact on others.
Freeze:
Responding passively to conflict, trying to please the other
people, agreeing to what they want. In
such cases, we may even repress our own wants, and blame ourselves for the
problem. This is likely to create "losers", as we forgo our own needs,
to meet the needs of others.
Passive Aggression:
Sometimes we may adopt a fourth, but equally unhelpful, response
to conflict: “Passive Aggression”.
Passive aggressively, we may pretend to be OK with things, but adopt
hostile and unhelpful behaviour behind the scenes. This can
result in issues never being addressed, which may leave us feeling disgruntled.
When this happens, we may bad mouth the
company and, at worst, actively work against its interests.
An assertive approach
to conflict:
Disagreements and differences of interests at work do not
have to have to result in destructive workplace conflicts. It is widely
acknowledged that being interpersonally skilled is more important than being
“clever” when it comes to managing workplace relationships. When faced with workplace conflict, we have
the option to respond assertively, act calmly, acknowledging the other person
and being respectful of their position, even if we don’t agree with it. Assertively we can seek to meet our own needs,
but at the same time be equally keen to help to meet the needs of others. This response to workplace conflict can
produce co called “win/win outcomes”, where differences are acknowledged, but
energy is invested in finding a mutually satisfactory outcome.
This article has been posted by Sean McCann, the Managing
Director of People Based Solutions an HR consultancy specialising in developing
emotional intelligence at work, team building, and workplace conflict
resolution. If you would like to know more about how we can help you develop an
assertive approach to workplace differences by:
·
Ensuring your managers are skilled with people
·
Helping you to recruit people who have an
assertive approach to conflict and difference
·
Helping you to develop a culture where
differences are acknowledged and addressed courteously
·
Train your managers to handle conflict
effectively
·
Delivering workplace mediation
Contact us at: enquiries@peoplebasedsolutions.com
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